soulcookie://blog

Today is my Rebirthday

There’s a significant part of myself that I’ve kept under wraps for most of my life. But I’d like to rid myself of the secret and to share it with you.

I am transgendered. I was born a boy, and grew up male, but have always wanted to a woman.

I have carried this secret for years, taking great pains to hide the truth from the world – and from myself. When I was a teenager, I made the conscious choice to suppress those feelings – or to try to, anyway. It was too risky, too scary, I thought, to announce to my whole world (friends and family, classmates and teachers) that I felt fundamentally wrong in my body. Better to keep quiet, I decided, and hope the feelings went away.

They didn’t.

In retrospect, capitulating to my fear was a colossal mistake. But it’s a mistake I’m finally ready to correct.

So:

I have begun the process of transitioning from male to female.

In the coming weeks, I will begin living full-time as a woman, and will be working with my bosses and Human Resources to ensure a smooth transition at work, too.

Along with the process of changing my body I will be changing my name, too. My new name is Victoria Hyde.

Why the complete name change? I love my family very much, and it’s with the love and support of my parents and my sister that I make this announcement. But just as many women (and some men) change their name when they wed to signal the new phase of their life, I change my name to mark this new arc of my life. It’s not about rejecting who I’ve been; it’s about honoring whom I’m becoming.

Please refer to me as Victoria, and with female pronouns (i.e. she, her, etc.). I know changing a habit built over many years of knowing me might take some time, so don’t stress if you slip up on pronouns and such once in a while. :-)

I know this presents a pretty dramatic shift in the status quo, and I’d like to stress that I’m still the same person you’ve known all this time. I still like comics and games. I still wish “Firefly” was on the air. I still smile and laugh and make really goofy puns.

The only difference is that for the first time I can (and will) fully express my True, authentic self.

For what it’s worth, you’re also welcome to tell any of your friends about my gender transition if the situation arises. This is no longer private, privileged information.

So… what’s next?

I’ll soon begin taking hormones to feminize my body, and in all probability will eventually have surgery to bring my body functionally and anatomically in line with a woman’s.

If you’d like to know more, visit your local library there are some great resources out there. A great place to start might be tsfaq.info, “The Transsexual Person in Your Life.”

This was written for people who have recently learned that someone in their life identifies as a transsexual or has decided to undergo gender transition. Since many people have not previously had the opportunity to learn about transsexualism and other gender issues, they frequently have a lot of questions, and may or may not feel comfortable directly asking the transsexual person these questions.

There’s also a nice FAQ writeup that someone has posted to Facebook.

I’ll also post some Q-and-A bits below for what I’m guessing will be the frequently-asked questions of me.

But if there’s anything I’ve forgotten, or if there’s something you want to discuss further, feel free to ask. Leave a comment, or send me a text message, or shoot me an email. I promise that I’ll do my best to answer your questions, each one a little gift of curiosity and inquiry.

After all, today is my Rebirthday. :-)

* * *

FAQ (Frequently-Asked Questions)

What name should I use for you?

Victoria

What pronoun should I use?

feminine (she, her)

What about nicknames?

“Victoria” will always be correct (and preferred). “Tori” is okay, but please don’t use ”Vicki.” And if you’ve had a preexisting nickname for me, I’ll probably still be fine with it.

So do you, y’know, like guys now?

Nope. Gender identity isn’t connected to sexual preference. I remain attracted to women.

Are you going to get surgery?

Probably. But if/when I do, it will be some time down the road, and after ample and appropriate consultation with medical professionals.

Are you going to dress differently?

Yes. I will begin wearing clothing appropriate to my new sex.

Are you taking hormones?

Not yet. But very soon.

How can I help?

Your continued friendship, love, and support will be the greatest gift of all. Unless you have a spare million dollars sitting around, in which case love & support will be a very welcome second-best. ;-)